I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Nobody returned alive from the war.

[T]here is really nothing 'out there' to get because, already, within this moment, everything is whole and complete.

At the School of Visual Arts in New York, you can get your degree in Net art, which is really a fantastic way of thinking of theater in new ways.

I love the food in Thailand because of the exotic spices they use. Their style of cooking is unique to their culture and always amazing.

So perfect — I’m right where I need to be!

I'm a little bit antisocial and I recently discovered that I'm introverted. But the love between people makes me alive.

I think that being in an environment is a much richer experience than just working on a soundstage.

The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.

The glory of man is that he is a thinking being. It is the nature of man to think and therein he differs from animals

The meanest inhabitants by their constant attendance generally form the majority and outvote the gentlemen, merchants and all the better Inhabitants!