When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

And we all know love is a glass which makes even a monster appear fascinating.

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.

I think there is this about the great troubles - they teach us the art of cheerfulness whereas the small ones cultivate the industry of discontent.

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone.

Set your guitars and banjos on fire and before you write a song smoke a pack of whiskey and it'll all take care of itself.

People always clap for the wrong reasons.

If certain players do not carry out their tasks properly on the pitch then their colleagues will suffer.

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.

What do we expect the climate to do? How will it affect people? And how can we protect people from hardship? We should be willing to face the facts that things may not go very well.