When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them.

You should never apologize for existing, Lev. Not even to all those people out there who wish you didn't.

Deceit is the false road to happiness; and all the joys we travel through to vice, like fairy banquets, vanish when we touch them.

I ain't looking to compete with you, beat, or cheat, or mistreat you, simplify you, classify you, deny, defy, or crucify you. All I really want to do is, baby, be friends with you.

I had a farm in Africa, at the foot of the Ngong Hills.

A secret is a kind of promise.... It can also be a prison.

The negative side of football. The negative side of our society. People sometimes go to football and bring to it the negative aspects of our society.

The duality of St Petersburg and Leningrad remains. They are not even on speaking terms.

I think someone should explain to the child that it's OK to make mistakes. That's how we learn. When we compete, we make mistakes.

I love salon days to pamper myself, do my nails.