Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

The world is full up with the talented impersonators of the Devil

One father is more than 100 schoolmasters.

For a year, I had all sorts of weirdos coming on to me.

I think that the only ultimate guide we have is our conscience, and if the law of the land goes against our conscience I think we should disobey the law.

Your poverty today is because of who you are. Want wealth? Let go of your anchors and inhibitions and change yourself.

The GAA is the sporting wing of the IRA.

The heroes of literary history have been no less remarkable for what they have suffered than for what they have achieved.

Unlicensed illegal immigrants drive on our roads and interstates without insurance, and there is little that our law enforcement officials can do to stop them.

Allow me to offer my congratulations on the truly admirable skill you have shown in keeping clear of the mark. Not to have hit once in so many trials, argues the most splendid talents for missing.