If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'.

Time obliterates the fictions of opinion and confirms the decisions of nature.

The nightmare of Trump is not that he doesn't care what people think

Death seems to provide the minds of the Anglo-Saxon race with a greater fund of amusement than any other single subject.

The love story for me was the nature of the love and not the age of the lovers.

What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it.

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation.

This is my last message to you: in sorrow, seek happiness.

If your pride leads you to boast, you will be doubly guilty, because your intelligence will have shown that it is incapable of controlling your pride.

People do what seems easy and convenient, not what is best for them.

Morality is the tendency to pour out the baby with the bathwater.