Funny But True Quotes
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Funny But True Quote of the day
If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?
Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.
Flattery does not encourage the perfect flow of love in the vein of your relationship. Be genuine and speak out what you feel for each other without hiding the painful truth.
Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you.
Dogs are angels full of poop.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Skull and Bones" A secret society of spoiled twits whose apparent purpose in life is littering the landscape with as many as possible.
You're sad? I'll cheer you up. You're upset? I'd love to listen. All you have to do is come to me, you know I'll be there for you.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.
If a religious book makes you harbor ill thoughts about those with differing faith, then, you're reading the wrong crap of late.
Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism.
No, " said the cat. "Now, you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names.
Chocolate cake and a diamond ring? In bed with the man of my dreams?
There is this common notion that people are shallow and ignorant until they go out and see the world. I, on the other hand, went out and in comparison realized I was in pretty good standing.
There is a certain delightful sort of hope which the introvert can receive only by having company over...the hope that they will leave soon.
To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it.
I have only one heart to give and one mind to lose. May I someday find a woman who will take them both.
Psychobabble attempts to redefine the entire English language just to make a correct statement incorrect. Psychology is the study of why someone would try to do this.
On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit.
Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.
Humans, left to own misguided devices, scratches the Divine in the self as one would the lice, but remember to lick well all the vices.
Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who'd understand the fundamental value of goofing off.Because if not, how boring would that be?
First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.
Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others
Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.
Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker.
Assuming what people want is about as controlled as using fireworks to start a fire.
The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.
I feel as though whenever I create something, my Mr. Hyde wakes up in the middle of the night and starts thrashing it. I sometimes love it the next morning, but other times it is an abomination.
You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Forgiveness" Steroids for the Soul.
With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing.
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.
If I were to vote, I would intentionally vote for the goofiest candidate. It is my theory that when the people can outwit the leader, the more respected their voices will be.
Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.
Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world
The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.
They say the crazies come out at night. I say the crazies come out during election year: Elections have the power to turn once seemingly normal people into certified loonies.
True devotion and humility is when you carelessly allow yourself to fall in love with things you consider will make you look inferior, which in essence, makes you superior.
I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending.
When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you.
Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.
Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.
Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!
It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time.
A thief is one who insists on sharing his victimhood.
After each of his books, the writer, for a while, feels once again that he can now die happy.
Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists.
To claim that one can never live a positive life with a negative mind is a very negative claim to make!
..."vers libre, " (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture.
I don't know. I don't really like old movies. The acting is so, 'Hey buddy, ol' pal. Let's go wear our hats and have a big misunderstanding