Funny But True Quotes
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Funny But True Quote of the day
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?
Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.
I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one.
I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.
Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who'd understand the fundamental value of goofing off. Because if not, how boring would that be?
I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing.
Flattery does not encourage the perfect flow of love in the vein of your relationship. Be genuine and speak out what you feel for each other without hiding the painful truth.
I feel as though whenever I create something, my Mr. Hyde wakes up in the middle of the night and starts thrashing it. I sometimes love it the next morning, but other times it is an abomination.
I never feel unsafe except for when the majority is on my side.
She shuddered. “What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.
The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.
We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts.
It is better to doubt that a concept is stupidly flying under your head than profoundly flying over your head.
If I were to vote, I would intentionally vote for the goofiest candidate. It is my theory that when the people can outwit the leader, the more respected their voices will be.
Psychobabble attempts to redefine the entire English language just to make a correct statement incorrect. Psychology is the study of why someone would try to do this.
Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism.
Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others
Never take advice about never taking advice. That is an old vice of men - to dish it out without being able to take it - the blind leading the blind into more blindness.
One of the Christian's biggest fears is appearing 'too Christian'. God forbid, because that's often characterized as god-awful! We want to be one, but without being 'one of them'.
To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it.
I enjoy poetry where I can talk as bizarre as I please, but theology or philosophy, I always respect the truth by taking it a step further.
Some things are so silly they have a certain brilliance to them. Other things, set as standards for brilliance and therefore exalted by many who don't know why, become tarnished because of it.
The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.
A thief is one who insists on sharing his victimhood.
Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.
You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house.
Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Skull and Bones" A secret society of spoiled twits whose apparent purpose in life is littering the landscape with as many as possible.
Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.
There is this common notion that people are shallow and ignorant until they go out and see the world. I, on the other hand, went out and in comparison realized I was in pretty good standing.
Dogs are angels full of poop.
Assuming what people want is about as controlled as using fireworks to start a fire.
Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world
Wisdom of the Ages: "Forgiveness" Steroids for the Soul.
Chocolate cake and a diamond ring? In bed with the man of my dreams?
Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.
If a religious book makes you harbor ill thoughts about those with differing faith, then, you're reading the wrong crap of late.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.
You're sad? I'll cheer you up. You're upset? I'd love to listen. All you have to do is come to me, you know I'll be there for you.
Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who'd understand the fundamental value of goofing off.Because if not, how boring would that be?
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.
First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.
Humans, left to own misguided devices, scratches the Divine in the self as one would the lice, but remember to lick well all the vices.
Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.
Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker.
Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you.
On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit.
There is a certain delightful sort of hope which the introvert can receive only by having company over...the hope that they will leave soon.