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Funny But True Quotes: "Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop."

Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.




Funny But True Quotes: "Flattery does not encourage the perfect flow of love in the vein of your relationship. Be genuine and speak out what you feel for each other without hiding the painful truth."

Flattery does not encourage the perfect flow of love in the vein of your relationship. Be genuine and speak out what you feel for each other without hiding the painful truth.



Funny But True Quotes: "Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you."

Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you.



Funny But True Quotes: "Dogs are angels full of poop."

Dogs are angels full of poop.




Funny But True Quotes: "Wisdom of the Ages: "Skull and Bones" A secret society of spoiled twits whose apparent purpose in life is littering the landscape with as many as possible."

Wisdom of the Ages: "Skull and Bones" A secret society of spoiled twits whose apparent purpose in life is littering the landscape with as many as possible.



Funny But True Quotes: "You're sad? I'll cheer you up. You're upset? I'd love to listen. All you have to do is come to me, you know I'll be there for you."

You're sad? I'll cheer you up. You're upset? I'd love to listen. All you have to do is come to me, you know I'll be there for you.



Funny But True Quotes: "Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it."

Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.




Funny But True Quotes: "If a religious book makes you harbor ill thoughts about those with differing faith, then, you're reading the wrong crap of late."

If a religious book makes you harbor ill thoughts about those with differing faith, then, you're reading the wrong crap of late.



Funny But True Quotes: "Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism."

Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism.



Funny But True Quotes: "No, " said the cat. "Now, you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names."

No, " said the cat. "Now, you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names.



Funny But True Quotes: "Chocolate cake and a diamond ring? In bed with the man of my dreams?"

Chocolate cake and a diamond ring? In bed with the man of my dreams?



Funny But True Quotes: "There is this common notion that people are shallow and ignorant until they go out and see the world. I, on the other hand, went out and in comparison realized I was in pretty good standing."

There is this common notion that people are shallow and ignorant until they go out and see the world. I, on the other hand, went out and in comparison realized I was in pretty good standing.




Funny But True Quotes: "There is a certain delightful sort of hope which the introvert can receive only by having company over...the hope that they will leave soon."

There is a certain delightful sort of hope which the introvert can receive only by having company over...the hope that they will leave soon.



Funny But True Quotes: "To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it."

To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it.



Funny But True Quotes: "I have only one heart to give and one mind to lose. May I someday find a woman who will take them both."

I have only one heart to give and one mind to lose. May I someday find a woman who will take them both.



Funny But True Quotes: "Psychobabble attempts to redefine the entire English language just to make a correct statement incorrect. Psychology is the study of why someone would try to do this."

Psychobabble attempts to redefine the entire English language just to make a correct statement incorrect. Psychology is the study of why someone would try to do this.



Funny But True Quotes: "On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit."

On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit.



Funny But True Quotes: "Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny."

Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.



Funny But True Quotes: "Humans, left to own misguided devices, scratches the Divine in the self as one would the lice, but remember to lick well all the vices."

Humans, left to own misguided devices, scratches the Divine in the self as one would the lice, but remember to lick well all the vices.



Funny But True Quotes: "Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who'd understand the fundamental value of goofing off.Because if not, how boring would that be?"

Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who'd understand the fundamental value of goofing off.Because if not, how boring would that be?



Funny But True Quotes: "First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit."

First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.



Funny But True Quotes: "Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others"

Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others



Funny But True Quotes: "Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles."

Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.



Funny But True Quotes: "Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker."

Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker.



Funny But True Quotes: "Assuming what people want is about as controlled as using fireworks to start a fire."

Assuming what people want is about as controlled as using fireworks to start a fire.



Funny But True Quotes: "The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you."

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.



Funny But True Quotes: "I feel as though whenever I create something, my Mr. Hyde wakes up in the middle of the night and starts thrashing it. I sometimes love it the next morning, but other times it is an abomination."

I feel as though whenever I create something, my Mr. Hyde wakes up in the middle of the night and starts thrashing it. I sometimes love it the next morning, but other times it is an abomination.



Funny But True Quotes: "You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house."

You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house.



Funny But True Quotes: "Wisdom of the Ages: "Forgiveness" Steroids for the Soul."

Wisdom of the Ages: "Forgiveness" Steroids for the Soul.



Funny But True Quotes: "With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing."

With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing.



Funny But True Quotes: "He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke."

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.



Funny But True Quotes: "If I were to vote, I would intentionally vote for the goofiest candidate. It is my theory that when the people can outwit the leader, the more respected their voices will be."

If I were to vote, I would intentionally vote for the goofiest candidate. It is my theory that when the people can outwit the leader, the more respected their voices will be.



Funny But True Quotes: "Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly."

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.



Funny But True Quotes: "Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world"

Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world



Funny But True Quotes: "The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved."

The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.



Funny But True Quotes: "They say the crazies come out at night. I say the crazies come out during election year: Elections have the power to turn once seemingly normal people into certified loonies."

They say the crazies come out at night. I say the crazies come out during election year: Elections have the power to turn once seemingly normal people into certified loonies.



Funny But True Quotes: "True devotion and humility is when you carelessly allow yourself to fall in love with things you consider will make you look inferior, which in essence, makes you superior."

True devotion and humility is when you carelessly allow yourself to fall in love with things you consider will make you look inferior, which in essence, makes you superior.



Funny But True Quotes: "I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending."

I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending.



Funny But True Quotes: "When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you."

When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you.



Funny But True Quotes: "Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair."

Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.



Funny But True Quotes: "Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT."

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.



Funny But True Quotes: "Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!"

Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!



Funny But True Quotes: "It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time."

It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time.



Funny But True Quotes: "A thief is one who insists on sharing his victimhood."

A thief is one who insists on sharing his victimhood.



Funny But True Quotes: "After each of his books, the writer, for a while, feels once again that he can now die happy."

After each of his books, the writer, for a while, feels once again that he can now die happy.



Funny But True Quotes: "Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists."

Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists.



Funny But True Quotes: "To claim that one can never live a positive life with a negative mind is a very negative claim to make!"

To claim that one can never live a positive life with a negative mind is a very negative claim to make!



Funny But True Quotes: "..."vers libre, " (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture."

..."vers libre, " (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture.



Funny But True Quotes: "I don't know.  I don't really like old movies.  The acting is so, 'Hey buddy, ol' pal.  Let's go wear our hats and have a big misunderstanding"

I don't know.  I don't really like old movies.  The acting is so, 'Hey buddy, ol' pal.  Let's go wear our hats and have a big misunderstanding