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Funny And Random Quotes: "Dogs are angels full of poop."

Dogs are angels full of poop.




Funny And Random Quotes: "I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD."

I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD.



Funny And Random Quotes: "There is no logic in logics except an illogical logic."

There is no logic in logics except an illogical logic.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro."

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.




Funny And Random Quotes: "You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists."

You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists.



Funny And Random Quotes: "People in hell want snowcones."

People in hell want snowcones.



Funny And Random Quotes: "What’s not to love? I made friends with a pretty girl and now we get to plan a castle break in. This beats the day to day kill, eat and survive."

What’s not to love? I made friends with a pretty girl and now we get to plan a castle break in. This beats the day to day kill, eat and survive.




Funny And Random Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her."

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face."

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him."

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white."

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.




Funny And Random Quotes: "Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg."

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Possibility of enjoying life makes death feel terrible."

Possibility of enjoying life makes death feel terrible.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order."

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye."

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.



Funny And Random Quotes: "People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required."

People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required.



Funny And Random Quotes: "When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok."

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals."

Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.






Funny And Random Quotes: "Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles."

Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.



Funny And Random Quotes: "What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747."

What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker."

Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker.





Funny And Random Quotes: "A question that always makes me hazy is it me or are the others crazy'Albert Einstein"

A question that always makes me hazy is it me or are the others crazy'Albert Einstein



Funny And Random Quotes: "so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us."

so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us.



Funny And Random Quotes: "(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts."

(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.




Funny And Random Quotes: "-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere."

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.



Funny And Random Quotes: "I guess it’s worth a shot.” More than likely a wasted bullet, but I’ll fire anyway."

I guess it’s worth a shot.” More than likely a wasted bullet, but I’ll fire anyway.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Do animals understand the concept of dreams or do they think they enter another dimension when they get tired?"

Do animals understand the concept of dreams or do they think they enter another dimension when they get tired?



Funny And Random Quotes: "I bet the very first piñata was surprised. “Oh, hey a party! Cool! What’s the occa— HEY, WHAT THE HELL, KID?"

I bet the very first piñata was surprised. “Oh, hey a party! Cool! What’s the occa— HEY, WHAT THE HELL, KID?



Funny And Random Quotes: "What the famous big blue Boy Scout told to a green Kryptonite? What?? YOU rock!"

What the famous big blue Boy Scout told to a green Kryptonite? What?? YOU rock!



Funny And Random Quotes: "So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes."

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.



Funny And Random Quotes: "If at first you don't succeed, lower you expectations"

If at first you don't succeed, lower you expectations



Funny And Random Quotes: "I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace."

I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Do you remember what I forgot?"

Do you remember what I forgot?



Funny And Random Quotes: "Ish #153 "Artificial plants grow best in artificial light."

Ish #153 "Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.



Funny And Random Quotes: "If you want to say, Lucia, there is no inside of the park benches, I won’t argue with you. But, then you have to say where the pigeons come from."

If you want to say, Lucia, there is no inside of the park benches, I won’t argue with you. But, then you have to say where the pigeons come from.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Ladies glisten, men perspire, horses sweat.-Early Nun Quote, The Old Ursuline Convent (1727) New Orleans, LA"

Ladies glisten, men perspire, horses sweat.-Early Nun Quote, The Old Ursuline Convent (1727) New Orleans, LA



Funny And Random Quotes: "Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can’t kiss people in the morning?"

Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can’t kiss people in the morning?



Funny And Random Quotes: "Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?"

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?



Funny And Random Quotes: "I grabbed a shovel and dug, and dug, and dug.Sorry not a very poetic thought, but very deep."

I grabbed a shovel and dug, and dug, and dug.Sorry not a very poetic thought, but very deep.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them."

Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them.



Funny And Random Quotes: "The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping."

The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.



Funny And Random Quotes: "Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK?"

Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK?