They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

The advertisements in a newspaper are more full of knowledge in respect to what is going on in a state or community than the editorial columns are.

Demands for equality for women are threats to men's self-esteem and sense of sexual turf.

Just to exist, just to be, to take a breath, to feel that, whether its pleasure or pain, loss or gain, just your experience in life is unique to you. No one sees life like you do.

I try to counter what Donald Trump says that might have an effect on somebody.

One of the saddest things about US education is that the wisdom of our most successful teachers is lost to the profession when they retire.

God isn't keeping a record of each time we fall, but He is excited about our progress, and we should be excited, too!

Music is also one of the great heart openers. Sometimes, you hear the lyrics of a song and you dance, laugh, smile, or perhaps even cry.

Regeneration is a work of the omnipotent power of God, power that nothing can overcome or resist.

A text is evolutionary by its very nature.

You know when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!