There are so many flavors of Coke now - Coke with lemon, Coke with vanilla, Coke with lime, Cherry Coke, and they've just brought out another new flavor - Coke with Pepsi.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

The AI does not hate you, nor does it love you, but you are made out of atoms which it can use for something else.

I start to get the feeling that something is really wrong.

The first virtue in a soldier is endurance of fatigue courage is only the second virtue.

I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.

Democrats don't resent the rich on behalf of the poor. They resent the rich on behalf of the government.

I'd hang out at the Borders bookstore until it closed.

We don't have any real justice in the legal system, you never see a headline that reads, Millionaire Gets Death Sentence.

The way of grace is dependent, I cannot but He can.

Whatever else India may not be, she is at least one thing, She is the greatest storehouse of spiritual knowledge.

I don't belong to any club or group. I don't fish, cook, dance, endorse books, sign books, co-sign declarations, eat oysters, get drunk, go to church, go to analysts, or take part in demonstrations.