The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.

I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.

One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.

There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.

It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

Capitalism is like math. It is amoral. It is good at producing wealth; it's bad at distributing wealth. Unless it operates within a moral framework it will produce an unjust society.

The real tragedy of England, as I see it, is the tragedy of ugliness. The country is so lovely: the man-made England is so vile.

Not having a passport makes me very blasé about what appears in foreign periodicals since I know I'll never see it.

Reddit names are unconnected to real-world identities and it's commonplace for users to create 'throwaway' accounts to reveal sensitive information.

My mother said, "kiss him, darling, it's easy so natural" and I thought to myself, not with lips of stone, dear mother, not with lips of stone

My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.

It's funny, isn't it? When you are young you just want to be old, and then later you wish you could go back to being a kid.

In part because they had no choice, right? If you were a slave, you did what the master said. And they said to worship: "You're going to worship with us."

Discipline our youth in early life in sound maxims of moral, political, and religious duties.

It is so much easier to talk of poverty than to think of the poor.