There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.

I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.

One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.

It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.

Be gentle, confident and action-oriented. Remember, your actions will make a difference.

At this rate, we’ll drive each other to the brink of happily ever after before we barely finish once upon a time.

We shall return to proven ways - not because they are old but because they are true.

To me there has never been a higher source of earthly honor or distinction than that connected with advances in science.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

Time perception is very much about how you sequence your activities, how many activities you layer overtop of others, and the types of gaps, if any, you leave in between activities.

The Koran is an inspiration for intolerance, murder and terror.

It was really a pleasure to play someone who’s literally pushed past her breaking point repeatedly.

I found for me that my safe place was work. I could control my environment. I became very fastidious and detailed, and wanted things a certain way.

It is the heart that is important.