“Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn’t it be hysterical if we went bowling?”

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

With a well-organized life, you have a higher chance of success and excellence in your area of calling and whatever you find yourself doing.

What you feel, and what is real – all just a matter of perspective.

Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny and everyone looked like someone you knew or wanted to know. Or, more likely, wanted to forget.

Happiness doesn't depend on how much you have to enjoy, but how much you enjoy what you have.

You want to know whether I believe in ghosts? Of course I do not believe in them. If you had known as many of them as I have, you would not believe in them either.

I probably get more inspiration for human stories and idiosyncrasies than I do animal stories.

All I do is stay in the kitchen and cook. I don't go there to party.

I have always believed that my job is to try and give my best on the tennis courts.

When you work with people whom you like and you admire because they're so good at what they do, it doesn't feel like work. It's like you're playing.

True ministry isn't just 'cut and paste,' it has to be birthed from the inside out.