Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

Keep your innocence and ignorance aside, and expose yourself to dangerous situations, and understand the deeper secrets of life.

Everyone who searches for power, without exception, searches for battle. Do you fight in order to become more powerful? Or do you want more power so you can fight?

I'm not telling you to be quiet. I'm just saying that if you speak a little softer, we both might just hear what peace sounds like.

If the universe is movement, it will not be in one direction only. We think of our lives as linear but it is the spin of the earth that allows us to observe time. Walk with me.

Problems should be solved on the spot, as soon as they arise. No front-line employee should have to wait for a supervisor's permission

Like everybody at that age, I read an awful lot of pulp fiction. But at the same time, I also read quite a bit of history and read that as much for pleasure as part of a curriculum.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Working with my hands keeps me sane.

In photography, you always have both the medium and the depicted subject at the same time.

Most innovation comes from people working together, collaborating in teams.