I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

What do gardeners do when they retire?

The eyes of Faith will allow you to see the invisible

Earth and air, fire and water, the stars in their courses, the high tide of destiny and the Will of divine Providence are all arrayed against the forces of oppression. -- Louis Gregory

The mandate is clear, God's nature must be reflected on the earth.

Reticence was clearly a national characteristic, even if the other person spoke French.

Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present, to live better in the future.

I think we've all worked with that person at the office who takes themselves and their job so seriously.

When I started to pick up the bass, it was purely by random chance.

There's big studio films I didn't want to do. I didn't want to go through the hoops and ladders. I wouldn't have been able to work with the directors I've worked with if I did those studio films.

To me the question of the environment is more ominous than that of peace and war...I'm more worried about global warming than I am of any major military conflict.

Vaclav Havel is the figure that represents the Velvet Revolution and the reunification of Europe. He will be sorely missed.