I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

What do gardeners do when they retire?

It must become a right of every person to die of old age. And if we secure this right for ourselves, we can, coincidentally, assure it for the planet.

My plan is to make the best of whatever comes my way.

Only the tiniest fracton of mankind want freedom. All the rest want someone to tell them theyare free.

If there is any message to my work, it is ultimately that it's ok to be different.

The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose.

I was a Scientologist before I was an actress, and I've always felt people are not only content with whatever religion I have, but are always interested.

I can speak for most songwriters - those breakup love songs are so easy to write, as far as the inspiration and all that.

Conducting your business in a socially responsible way is good business. It means that you can attract better employees and that customers will know what you stand for and like you for it

The most important thing is to keep your team as small as possible.

Children have an uncanny memory for what parents say, but don't do.