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Henny Youngman Quotes: Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
         

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.


Henny Youngman
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Other quotes of Henny Youngman


My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.



I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.



A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.



If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.



When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.



A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.



Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did



Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.



Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.



What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.





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We may say simply that in the sight of God we are judged not so much by what we do as by our reasons for doing it.

We may say simply that in the sight of God we are judged not so much by what we do as by our reasons for doing it.



I'll stand over your grave 'til I'm sure that you're dead.

I'll stand over your grave 'til I'm sure that you're dead.



Welcome to the present moment. Here. Now. The only moment there ever is.

Welcome to the present moment. Here. Now. The only moment there ever is.



I have a master plan as an artist. I've always said I'm not going to be punching nobody's clock. I will work as an artist to survive in this world.

I have a master plan as an artist. I've always said I'm not going to be punching nobody's clock. I will work as an artist to survive in this world.



To-day we have naming of parts. Yesterday We had daily cleaning. And tomorrow morning, We shall have what to do after firing. But to-day, To-day we have naming of parts.

To-day we have naming of parts. Yesterday We had daily cleaning. And tomorrow morning, We shall have what to do after firing. But to-day, To-day we have naming of parts.



I see loyalty - roughly perseverance in relational commitments despite the cost of such perseverance - as an important human value/virtue. Think of it as a kind of relational glue.

I see loyalty - roughly perseverance in relational commitments despite the cost of such perseverance - as an important human value/virtue. Think of it as a kind of relational glue.



The message of the Gita is to be found in the second chapter of the Gita where Lord Krishna speaks of the balanced state of mind, of mental equipoise.

The message of the Gita is to be found in the second chapter of the Gita where Lord Krishna speaks of the balanced state of mind, of mental equipoise.



Everybody has different stories about where I came from. Nobody really knows.

Everybody has different stories about where I came from. Nobody really knows.



A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding than a decision

A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding than a decision



A grateful heart is not one that is very selective and choosy about what to be grateful for.

A grateful heart is not one that is very selective and choosy about what to be grateful for.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.". Author of this quote is Henny Youngman. This quote is about friends, okay, god, people, ill, stupidity,.