Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Prayer means keeping company with God who is already present.

I worry all the time that I'm going to run out of ideas, you know? I always tell my mom my fashion ideas, because I know she'll remember them.

When I go to Bali, when I come to India and travel and see different cultures. I make sure I'm involved in the world out there, creatively, culturally.

We sometimes think of quotations as extracts from larger texts, but some quotations originated complete unto themselves.

You always want to get at-bats. You always want to contribute.

And in Hollywood, you know, everyone is an expert. Most of them are expert editors. They can't direct, they can't write, they can't act, but, by God, they all think they can edit.

I would have all my offensive linemen wrestle if I could.

I just think I'm fairly aggressive.

The water has a Water that is driving it; The spirit has a Spirit that is Calling it.

One of the hardest decisions you'll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.