President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

Maybe you're not difficult to live with at all, maybe you're just a busy, successful, beautiful woman who won't settle for anything but the best.

If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else.

Every sorrow and every pain is a good reminding to us to be serious because we are living in a dangerous universe!

Never forget that no military leader has ever become great without audacity.

For me, and people like me, fighting isn't what we do; it's who we are.

I don't know if anything can really prepare you for 'Survivor,' but since I grew up as an athlete, the physical aspect came to me more easily.

I'm very proud of my sisters and everything they've accomplished and done. I'm very proud of where I came from.

One thing that I would like to do that I've seen them not do that well is take women all through the process of the postpartum period in a more meaningful way. That would be my agenda.

In photography we possess an extraordinary instrument for reproduction. But photography is much more than that. Today it is [a method for bringing optically] some thing entirely new into the world.

We’re grateful when all is well, but can we say the same on disastrous days?