President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.

For digital natives, public schools are jails

Rock stars are idiots. You know that! Remember this moron never went to music school, never learned music theory and can't read or write music. So why not be suspicious of everything this idiot says?

Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved.

Narrow minds can develop as well through persecution as through benevolence; they can assure themselves of their power by tyrannizing cruelly or beneficially over others.

I'm gonna see how this works out, but I think it's a bad idea.

I'm thrilled to be in sci-fi because they write the women very strong, and you don't often get that on television.

I was always into film, but theater was my entry point. I always felt like film didn't make sense to me, as a kid.

There are quantities of human beings, but there are many more faces, for each person has several.

But you finally think, there is what there is, and you have to work within those confines and just keep chipping away at your own work.