On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Nowhere do the Scriptures tell us to seek results, nor do the Scriptures rebuke evangelists if the results are meager.

But I don't feel like dealing because dealing requires too much energy, and energy is what I lack.

The Endangered Species Act is the strongest and most effective tool we have to repair the environmental harm that is causing a species to decline.

Some people get attached to their practice. They get good at it, but even becoming a good meditator can become a hindrance.

Doing funny scary is something that is rarely good and rarely works, and it's also something that's incredibly hard to market.

Meanwhile with the help of an anecdote I fell in love. Words caravaggio. They have a power.

A simile committing suicide is always a depressing spectacle.

If there is a conflict in your mind between what you know and what you are seeing, paint what you see because if you don't, the result will look like something that isn't there.

I decided to build up my band in Buffalo because Buffalo was where I had originally built up my own musical strength.

Constant acts of goodness are worth far more than rare acts of greatness.