Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Listen not to the words that have been spoken, but bend your ears to what has not been said.

The deepest problems of the human race are spiritual in nature. They are rooted in man’s refusal to seek God’s way for his life. The problem is the human heart, which God alone can change.

We should just stop calling these things presentations altogether. Everyone gets hung up on that word. Wouldn’t it be easier to just call them conversations? That’s really what they are.

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important.

I'd never believed in luck. Never had any cause to. Never relied on it, because I never could.

Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work youbelieve in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you willfind happiness that you had thought could never be yours.

I definitely wanted to earn my freedom. But the primary motivation wasn't making money, but making an impact.

The test of a quarterback is where his team finishes.

Everything I learned as an actor, I have basically applied to writing.

You can't grow strong without resistance.