He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

I did not choose to be a monster—a shell of a man—half-human, half-fiend. I am a tiefling. I am what I am.

Social entrepreneurship represents the opportunity to redefine the role of government.

Having the world's best idea will do you no good unless you act on it.

I'll drink your champagne. I'll drink every drop of it, I don't care if it kills me.

There is no such thing as failure for an artist, unless failure is the refusal to attempt, the unwillingness to dream.

Taking the pledge will not make bad liquor good, but it will improve it.

Time helps a lot. I found the fame thing really was a torment for a while. Then you learn to deal with it.

Sometimes it's summer camp on location. So it's nice to have a little New York community of people you love.

Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.

Shake hands with Pain, give greeting unto Grief, Those angels in disguise, and thy glad soul From height to height, from star to shining star, Shall climb and claim blest immortality.