My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Men are apt to prefer a prosperous error before an afflicted truth

In that little pocket-size world of his, he was the absolute master.

Mma Ramotswe reflected on how easy it was to find oneself committed to a course of action simply because one lacked the courage to say no.

Take control of your future by taking a choice of starting it right now.

When my parents fought, I'd run up to my room, put on The Sound of Music, open the window and sing out. My voice was my escape. I saw it as a way out.

The circus itself is my personal ideal entertainment venue.

Wouldn't you rather your kid be a drug dealer than a drug addict?

Instead of focusing on the great men of God, I prefer to focus on the Great God of men.

I think it's hard to convince an audience of some sort of chemistry if you really don't get along.

For anyone that's ever had a musical breakthrough in their career, it's always followed by the departure period right after.