"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The belief of Gnan (Knowledge of the Self) is known as samkit (Right belief). Ignorant belief is known as mithyatva (illusion).

If you don’t know what your barriers are, it’s impossible to figure out how to tear them down.

It is a sad fact about our culture that a poet can earn much more money writing or talking about his art than he can by practicing it.

It is better to fail at your own life than to succeed at someone else's.

Vice President Joe Biden said today that 'Syria must be held accountable.' Unfortunately, the Obama administration has never employed an accountant, so they have no idea how to do that.

What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.

Dogs do not have many advantages over people, but one of them is extremely important: euthanasia is not forbidden by law in their case; animals have the right to a merciful death.

Joao Gilberto on guitar could read a newspaper and sound good.

All passions exaggerate; and they are passions only because they do exaggerate.

I concentrate on the southern African subcontinent.