Discworld Quotes

Discworld Quote of the day

"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out.

The pen is mightier than the sword ... if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

As they say in Discworld, we are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one another where the fresh fruit was.

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

Words are the litmus paper of the mind.

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease.

I imagine that fish have no word for water.

What can the harvest hope for...

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.

And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!

What're quantum mechanics?" "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.

Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.

You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing.

Not a man to mince words. People, yes. But not words.

Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous.

You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?

Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving

Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job.

The pamphlet was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

I am death, not taxes. I turn up only once.

This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.

And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.

His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience

And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.

If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.

'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so.

As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies.

There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.

Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!

His granny taught him to read, see. I reckon it overheated his mind.

I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.''That's just fantasy, ' said Twoflower.'I know. That's the trouble.' Rincewind sighed again.

Gods didn’t mind atheists, if they were deep, hot, fiery, atheists like Simony, who spend their whole life hating gods for not existing. That sort of atheism was a rock. It was nearly belief …

Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.

Death paused. YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE, he said, THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?‘Yes. Yes, of course.’Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.

On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance.

Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!""Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes.

Ye mustn't be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time.

Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because—what with trolls and dwarfs and so on—speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.