If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.

You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy!

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.

My family were staunch believers in physical violence, not automatic violence, and we had a Safeway around the corner, so we never really needed to kill anything.

Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.

Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people.

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.

The world’s most powerful business tool is also the most misunderstood. The e-factors are all about feelings not figures and feelings rule all buying decisions!

For a moment, I felt like myself again. Not the new me, not the old me, just the real me.

You had better be ready to change your mind when needed.

I am an intransigent atheist, though not a militant one. This means that I am not fighting against religion - I am fighting for reason.

The United States has, overall, the most effective system of higher education the world has ever known.

One has not understood until one has forgotten it.

For me, self-discipline has never corresponded to a voluntary adhesion to norms invented by others. It has always been the first step towards breaking the chains.

It is very doubtful whether man is enough of a political animal to produce a good, sensible, serious and efficient constitution. All the evidence is against it.

The winds with wonder whist, Smoothly the waters kisst.

Use the hills to get stronger!