You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy!

If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.

My family were staunch believers in physical violence, not automatic violence, and we had a Safeway around the corner, so we never really needed to kill anything.

Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.

Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people.

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.

Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is.

Sending love to all those who are trying their best to be nice and gentle despite being in the midst of negative as well as critical people…

His eyes touched lightly, and passed on.

Life must be lived to the fullness.

I will not change just to court popularity.

Democracy is the art of thinking independently together.

For months I had been trying to be less myself.

We shall never be content until each man makes his own weather and keeps it to himself.

Investing is an activity of forecasting the yield over the life of the asset; speculation is the activity of forecasting the psychology of the market.

Secrecy is a vacuum and nothing fills a vacuum like paranoid speculation.