My family were staunch believers in physical violence, not automatic violence, and we had a Safeway around the corner, so we never really needed to kill anything.

If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.

You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy!

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.

Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.

Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people.

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.

Today's public education system is a failed monopoly: bureaucratic rigid and in unsteady control of dissatisfied captive markets.

The fundamental magic of flying is a miracle that has nothing to do with any of its practical purposes - purposes of speed accessibility and convenience - and will not change as they change.

There is always a but in this imperfect world.

Action is a high road to self-confidence and esteem. Where it is open, all energies flow toward it. It comes readily to most people, and its rewards are tangible.

If you're middle aged... where're you going to go to meet someone? You're not going to go to a bar, you're not going to go to a night club; and there are the museums.

Anytime I can sneak in a moment to fish and ride horses, I'm a happy camper!

We are going to have to continue to keep the pressure on the enemy. There is no room for complacency on this.

Beauty is the main positive form of the aesthetic assimilation of reality, in which aesthetic ideal finds it direct expression.

One out of three black men are in the criminal justice system in some form. Their despair is beginning to resonate through the entire culture; that is why suburban children want rap music.

Whatever a man seeks, honors, or exalts more than God is the god of his idolatry.