If you mind losing more than you enjoy winning, don't bet.

Breakfast is a notoriously difficult meal to serve with a flourish.

To barbecue is a way of life rather than a desirable method of cooking.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

Owning a racehorse is probably the most expensive way of getting on to a racecourse for nothing.

If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

I've known Nicholas Parsons for a fairly long time and his geniune pleasures are in rubber tubes, metal clips

There's no law that decrees when not to whinge, but you reach a certain age - 80 seems about right - when you're expected to manifest querulousness - the coffee's too hot, the boiled egg's too soft.

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men.

I was going to talk about Nicholas Parsons' ignorance, but 18 seconds would be a wholly insufficient time.

Congealed fat is pretty much the same, irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed.

And Daniel?" She asked."Daniel was a player-""Hey!" "That's what they called the actors." Bill rolled his eyes.

We must be constantly aware that Satan can take any human effort and twist it to serve his own purposes.

The virtue of dress rehearsals is that they are a free show for a select group of artists and friends of the author, and where for one unique evening the audience is almost expurgated of idiots.

Listen to the pregnant woman. Value her. She values the life growing inside her. Listen to the pregnant woman, and you cannot help but defend her right to abortion.

you can't really separate modernity from history or spiritual concerns from mundane ones. Everything feeds into everything else.

I get fed up with all this nonsense of ringing people up and lighting cigarettes and answering the doorbell that passes for action in so many modern plays.

I'd wanted to be a writer and when I came back to New York worked as a musician too, but I found my writing starting to get more and more referential to cinema.

For me writing is like breathing. I could not live without breathing and I could not live without writing.

We learn to walk when we’re babies and never forget unless we’re drunk.

[I]f we assume a liberty interest but nevertheless say that, even assuming a liberty interest, a state can prohibit it entirely, that would be rather a conundrum.