I think we live in an age of increasing mediocrity.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

When the Rule of Law disappears, we are ruled by the whims of men.

Science in its attempt to unravel the mysteries of the Universe, Has discovered the ultimate reality that we are all One.

I've learned to lose with a smile on my face. That's what the Oscar teaches you.

That's what American democracy has come down to at these town hall meetings: old people and gun nuts, which is a terrible combination. I heard somebody yell 'AK-47!' and a lady yelled, 'Bingo!'

I believe that a lot of our striving after the symbols and levers of success is due to a basic insecurity, a need to prove ourselves. That done, grown up at last, we are free to stop pretending.

A great dowry is a bed full of brables. [A great dowry is a bed full of brambles.]

I refuse to accept that the shackles of slavery can ever be stronger than the quest for freedom.

Not everything is immediately good to those who seek God; but everything is capable of becoming good.

My mom's chicken, with rice and gravy was my favorite dish as a kid, and it still is now. That's my favorite meal from her or from anybody. It's a family favorite.

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.