I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

I don't believe in the word " incurable " I believe to find a cure we need to deconstruct the cause.

The fundamental tragedy about life is that those who possess it often are not aware of its value.

In the Imperialist Era, the foreign loan played an outstanding part as a means for young capitalist countries to acquire independence.

I believe all positive things and negative things are valuable because they shape you.

My cat, Andy, has been my best buddy since I was 18, and he doesn't care if I'm on a TV show or if I'm red-carpet ready. He just likes it when I'm there.

I love working on 'Glee,' and I hope that there are more and more parts for me and other actors with Down syndrome in television and in movies so I can keep working for a long, long time.

Sad news- Prince is gone. Music has lost a great presence. A world less funky. I don't believe in it.

I don't want to lose the boy with the bread.

'She Wolf,' by Shakira, makes you want to let go of your inhibitions and jam.