I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

If the praise of man elates me and his blame depresses me

There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear.

I helped to restore America's leadership.

The sad truth is the truth is sad.

I am Maradona, who makes goals, who makes mistakes. I can take it all, I have shoulders big enough to fight with everybody.

My goal is simple. All I want to do is re-connect people with animals. Awaken some emotions and some feelings and some logic, that is been buried and suppressed, intentionally, by our society.

Another thing that I don't like to do is show too much how it goes. I do it once in a blue moon. Sometimes there are lessons when I don't pick up a violin at all.

I think there are school teachers who are on the exact same mission as me.

After three failed marriages, I know what it's like to be replaced.

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!