I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

A dog's good for filling a grief-dug hole.""In the Shape of Shep

...Go somewhere else. Somewhere safer.” Anywhere else. God, please. Or he was likely to do something horribly awful, like surrender his sanity and kiss her.

My definition of winning at squash is playing and surviving, and I've never lost a match.

But she'd wanted him there and there he was. A lamb ready for slaughter.

I've never had a good line. Well, maybe 'I must break you'.

I always work directly from life, partly because I really enjoy having an interaction with the person in front of me but also because I love having a direct response to shape and color.

The secret of marriage is thinking that your partner is better than yourself.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

Kings and magistrates are invested with no more power than the people entrust to them.

All the religious wars that have caused blood to be shed for centuries arise from passionate feelings and facile counter-positions, such as Us and Them, good and bad, white and black.