Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

Peace is possible, and it will take a miracle.

There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved: It is God's finger on man's shoulder.

Wakan Tanka never stops creating.

A rational man never distorts or corrupts his own standards and judgment in order to appeal to the irrationality, stupidity, or dishonesty of others.

I'm sure glad this isn't my home ball park.

The fact is, if a young man is naturally indolent, the spur of necessity will drive him but a very little way, while the having enough to live upon is often the means of preserving his self-respect.

I think making movies and being in theater and TV, there's this beautiful little family. It's so intense that you form these little families, and that's what I loved.

You get a heck of a sound from the church. Can't you hear it in my voice?

Love is a universal migraine. A bright stain on the vision, Blotting out reason.

If you write genre fiction, you follow the rules, and you have to follow them because readers expect that.