I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

We cannot let our hurts, fears, and prejudices get in the way of God’s calling for our lives.

I could go and buy one of the islands in theBahamas and turn it into my personal fiefdom, but I am much more interested in trying to build andcreate a new company.

As we begin to internalize the technological kingdoms we have built, as we progressively become more superhuman, what will differentiate us from machinery?

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

I irritate the wife because of my private dancing.

We are just statistics, born to consume resources.

People can make a real difference. One person at a time, one job at a time, one life at a time.

Money lost, something lost. Honor lost, much lost. Courage lost, everything lost-better you were never born

When we turn to one another for counsel we reduce the number of our enemies.