I have a disturbing problem with losing things. My vulnerability to loss-distress could properly be labeled not only inordinate, but neurotic.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

In fairness, you know, I'm a big believer in if your kid makes noise in the restaurant you should remove the child immediately.

Bare hands grip success better than kid gloves.

You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.

Life is only worth living because we hope it will get better and we'll all get home safely. But you tried and you did not get home safely. You did not get home at all.

One of my earliest memories as a reader - I don't know how old I was, quite young - was a poem of his, called "Fog," and I remember the first verse, "The fog comes / on little cat feet".

Life isn't always about logic and reasons—sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump. Particularly when it comes to relationships.

I began thinking about my skeleton, this solid, beautiful thing inside me that I would never see.

Silence is the only language of the realized. Practice moderation in speech.

I found myself in a race with Mother Nature to play as much baseball as I could before she forced me to stop.

I love reading about all of the breakthroughs and all of the new tech, even just the little household things that are coming on the market. I've always been nerdy about that.