I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

Without animal research, polio would still be claiming thousands of lives each year.

We have bloated bureaucracies in Corporate America. The root of the problem is the absence of real corporate democracy.

I think that we need women role models everywhere. I think that it's really hard to imagine yourself as something that you don't see.

Regardless of how distant your dreams may seem, every second counts.

Anything created with fake intention or pretense cannot last long.

I wish I could wear clothes straight off the runway.

I think when comic book fans hear parallel dimensions or multiple dimensions they think of Earth 616 and Earth 617 and Earth 618. That's all possible.

Make a habit to remember God in your perfectly beautiful days, because in bad days even atheists do remember Him!

The embodiment of kindness is often made difficult by our long ingrained patterns of fear & jealousy.