I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Everytime, he breaks your heart. And everytime, he expects me to pick up the pieces.

None of us just pop into the world fully formed, so it's the little facts that make us.

Style personality - deliberately adopted and therefore a mask - is the only escape from the hot-faced bargainers and money-changers.

It's interesting to see people overcome things. Because if you didn't overcome, you wouldn't be writing it.

Thinking and feeling that have to do with action in association with others is as much a social mode of behavior as is the most overt cooperative or hostile act.

Why did I want to break all the rules? Because the rules didn’t make sense, that’s why

There is a light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully its not a freight train!

In the past, if I didn't work, I didn't eat but now I feel I can not work and I won't starve.

I don't know if it's good to be stuck at one place. I'm probably too close to home on that. Because that can happen-where I'm not the best judge of my own work.

Girls started noticing me a little bit more in senior year, and junior year, and that was weird