I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

I could recognise his soul in mine as much as he could find me in his. Our sole existences seemed to have been for this very moment when nothing else mattered.

We can worship God imperfectly, but we cannot worship him insincerely.

When you learn about the teaching and the practice of another tradition, you always have a chance to understand your own teaching and practice.

I have no ambition to govern men it is a painful and thankless office.

Service is an opportunity for young women to really empower themselves.

A dearth of words a woman need not fear; But 'tis a task indeed to learn to hear: In that the skill of conversation lies; That shows and makes you both polite and wise.

A solid giggle should do the trick.

But in 2000, the injuries really started to kick in and my elbow gave a lot of problems. At the end of the year I had to take 20 months off before I could come back into the game

There are terrible living conditions and unhappiness, (even) where everybody is Italian.

I believe people run marathons every day of their lives in one way or another, and we need to remember to give ourselves the finishers' medals we deserve.