I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: getting out of bed.

It’s impossible to give thanks and simultaneously feel fear

Baseball is beautiful....the supreme performing art. It combines in perfect harmony the magnificent features of ballet, drama, art, and ingenuity.

Inspiration is indispensable to my work, but it is hard to come by. It is there or it is not; it is a gift of the gods.

Solitude desolates me; company oppresses me.

When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.

Selection aims not only at simplifying but at weeding out what is undesirable.

Jogging in the park is my excuse to look at all the girls.

Any person who pursues human rights in Iran must live with fear from birth to death, but I have learned to overcome my fear.