When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring.

I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.

Journalism is the only thinkable alternative to working.

The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop.

What a pity people don't take as much trouble with their own breeding as intelligent racehorse owners do. But then I suppose it is bordering on fascism to think like that.

My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday and midnight.

It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that.

I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation.

In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'.

Homeschooling is not a race ... You will not get behind, nor do you have to live with guilt that you feel the need to catch up.

There is no life after death, so offer kindness to all, not in the next life but now.

One reason I quit doing interviews after years and years and years was because I was making things up.

Ah! dear friend, you little know the possibilities which are in you.

I went to do Eclipse right after The Runaways, and I think the director of that movie might have said to another cast member that he had to beat the Joan Jett out of me.

Speed takes a little bit of getting used to, but rules have to be followed. At any speed, the more you run, the more you get used to it.

Because reason...is the only thing that makes us men, and distinguishes us from the beasts, I would prefer to believe that it exists, in its entirety, in each of us.

What do you see when you look at me?

We all possess exactly what we need to be our greatest selves.

Clear and sweet is my soul, clear and sweet is all that is not my soul.