I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

The Compleat Angler is acknowledged to be one of the world's books. Only the trouble is that the world doesn't read its books, it borrows a detective story instead.

I embrace my experience and value my wisdom.

When I get lemon juice in a cut..it hurts..but then I remember all who would die for that lemon I am quiet and take the pain for what it is... because that is what it is to live.

Girls are much too clever to fall out of their prams

I am tired before the concert not afterward.

All of my novels are democracies.

I smile a lot. I heard someone say once that it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, so i'm trying it out.

Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts.

Errors accumulate in the sketch and compound in the model.

I'm a true believer in working hard and partying hard. I'm fortunate to be one of those people who can have just as much fun partying without alcohol.

I had Botox and I hated it. For four long months, I looked like a different person.