Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.

I don't mind functional medicine. I suppose it has to be better than dysfunctional medicine.

I knew how you liked long tales, " he said, giving her a wink. "There's sure to be plenty of those.""In Gaelic, " she said."All the better for learning it.

Now, when we face a problem like global warming, and you understand that the biggest impacts on global warming come from business and industry, I think business needs to take a leading role.

Reply to wit with gravity, and to gravity with wit.

The theologian who labors without joy is not a theologian at all. Sulky faces, morose thoughts and boring ways of speaking are intolerable in this field.

i wanted to try things, everything, especially things that are illegal and have a faint whiff of glamour.

I always found myself in the company of Australians, who were like a reminder that I'd touched bottom.

There is simply no way to sustain an economy based on consumer credit.

There's a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem. It's not something you can give; it's something they have to build.