He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

And we all know love is a glass which makes even a monster appear fascinating.

Start and end your day with God.Seek His presence and blessing daily.

You do not need to pay attention to those voices within you that create pain, or make you feel less competent, smart or able.

I was a modern young woman, fearless and capable (with mace spray in my robe’s right pocket), and I didn’t care who knew it. Attitude was everything when dealing with dwarfs.

If you spend more on coffee than on IT security, you will be hacked. What's more, you deserve to be hacked

A thankful man owes a courtesy ever; the unthankful but when he needs it.

If you can say the lyrics almost like a poem and they stand up, that's a great thing. Some songs have great lyrics and I don't like the melodies, and vice versa.

If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third.

"Difficulty" is the name of an ancient tool that was created purely to help us define who we are.

Man is a reasoning Animal.