Everyone smiles in the same language.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

You'll never avoid every mistake. All you can do is try to do your best and live with the consequences.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

The practice of photography is no longer a means for recording reality. Instead, it has become reality itself

I definitely hope that I'm improving. If I'm not, there's a problem - I'm just coasting.

A new yogi doesn't handstand on their first try, and a new teacher doesn't start out as a headliner. Be patient, and trust it's all going to add up and unfold in due time.

Fools laugh at the Latin language. -Rident stolidi verba Latina

Most artists try to break your heart, or they accidentally break their own hearts.But I find the quietness in the ordinary much more satisfying.

Bit parts in Mediocre TV shows won't develop your acting chops.

[If] you don't have any soul and you don't have any talent, jazz is what you should do. ... any fool can do it; all you gotta do is practice.

We've have to heed our Biblical obligation to be good stewards of the Earth after leaving the Garden of Eden.