Everybody wants ta get inta da act!

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Make someone happy, Make just one someone happy, And you will be happy, too.

Everybody wants to get into the act!

My nose isn't big. I just happen to have a very small head.

All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.

What did Napolean do for relaxation? He read a book. What did Lincoln do for relaxation? He read a book. What does Congress do for relaxation? They book a red.

Me and my big mouth! I'd get rid of it, only it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.

Amicus scientia est amicus Deus: Friend of science is the friend of God!

So go back to the books. They will comfort you and cheer you. If you earnestly work with them, neither sorrow nor anxiety nor distress nor suffering need trouble your mind any more, no, not evermore.

There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but having no outlet, it implodes in a great fart of rage which smokes up all the inner windows of the soul.

Mindfulness is a quiet mind, an aware mind. Mindfulness itself is not about ‘arriving, ’ but about being.

Mickey Mouse was supposed to be called Mortimer, but Walt Disney’s wife found it creepy

I can take $15,000 a year and raise kids on that. Later, they'll figure out I've got millions, but hopefully they'll have the values to say, 'So what?

The fact that you were born means that there are no other children born because of you – you’ve killed them in a way.

It was expected of me that I was to bow to the name of Andrew Jackson... even at the expense of my conscience and judgement. such a thing was new to me, and a total stranger to my principles.

I want to establish myself as the first Eric Davis, not the next Willie Mays.