Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Make someone happy, Make just one someone happy, And you will be happy, too.

Everybody wants to get into the act!

My nose isn't big. I just happen to have a very small head.

All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.

Everybody wants ta get inta da act!

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.

What did Napolean do for relaxation? He read a book. What did Lincoln do for relaxation? He read a book. What does Congress do for relaxation? They book a red.

Me and my big mouth! I'd get rid of it, only it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.

Things always become obvious after the fact

The Word is light and the Holy Spirit is oxygen

Rembrandt painted about 700 pictures - of these 3 000 are in existence.

I did not come into football to make money. I had already made millions.

Apocalypse has become banal, a set of statistical risk parameters to everyone's existence.

That kid can hit balls over buildings.

Good characters are rare. As long as I find one or two a year, I'm happy.

I feel more alive now than I ever have in my life. I have a chance to live, as I've dreamed.

Those who cannot feel the littleness of great things in themselves are apt to overlook the greatness of little things in others.