All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Make someone happy, Make just one someone happy, And you will be happy, too.

Everybody wants to get into the act!

My nose isn't big. I just happen to have a very small head.

Everybody wants ta get inta da act!

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.

What did Napolean do for relaxation? He read a book. What did Lincoln do for relaxation? He read a book. What does Congress do for relaxation? They book a red.

Me and my big mouth! I'd get rid of it, only it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.

They march into the future to the rhythm of the past.

a story is ready when it falls from your face

In your heart of hearts, I believe all of you around this table know what this country needs.

In all my years in boxing I'd never known such heat

It's like you always have to put on a happy face, be the phony baloney, and I'm so not that. I never was that; I'll never be that. That is part of the business that I don't like.

I've got wealth and fame but I haven't changed my roots.

It's weird, because usually if you're British and you go to America you play baddies; but I play naughty people here and goodies in America.

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream.

The real mystery is this strange need. Why can't we just hide it and shut up? Why do we have to blab? Why do human beings need to confess?

Conquer land like Napoleon, military bomb fest We want sanitary food, planetary conquest