Divorce is just about change, you know. It's God saying, You need a change. And I'm going to make it so your bank account only has change.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

Let us have no guiltLeft to wasteFor dreaming still.

I am amazed at the wonders of technology and am grateful for the ways in which we are able to use it to share the Gospel around the world.

You have to play your characters, not like them.

The mind conceives with pain, but it brings forth with delight.

I've got a million people telling me why I can't do it. You know, that I'm not a real designer, that I'm not this. I'm not a real rapper, either!

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

Rock is stronger than any misguided theories of cultural events. It's bigger than that.

There is only one admirable form of the imagination: the imagination that is so intense that it creates a new reality, that it makes things happen.

My new catchphrase is: 'Pull yourself together.' I've done the inner child, I've had analysis, I've decided that unless you're mentally ill and need support, it's up to you.

On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away.