At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

As you jump new hurdles, you gain greater confidence. Confidence can be achieved like any other practiced skill.

The golden sunshine of Italy congealed into tears. Here's to alcoholic brotherhood ... much more suited to the frail human soul, if any, than any other sort.

Different times need different types of leadership.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

I just want someone to explain to the American public why investing in transportation in Iraq is so much more important than investing in passenger rail right here in the United States of America.

Frank [Moore Cross], publicly dissects the text but he has a private, passionate relationship to the text that he doesn't often speak of publicly.

When I wanted information, it was silent; when I didn't want to hear from it, it got chatty. It was alost as irritating as Fang.

The fact of the matter is fame predates even the age of cinema.

It was a world that I wanted to record because it was such a miracle visitation to me.

The snow reminded me of the beauty and mystery of creation, of the essential joy that is life.